It has been some time since I’ve written anything and a lot has happened. Experiences were had, and it took me some time to work through it all. But through it all it has led to certain insights into myself and others and what my purpose really is. And now, here, I start a new chapter.
Pathei-mathos means we learn through experience: through our successes, through our failures, and through the insights attained by the same. We repeat this process of experiential learning, again and again, for as long as we are able to, as a process of a greater anados: a personal lifelong journey toward alchemical change from one type of being to another. It does not mean we get hung up on the past, but use our experiences as a segue into an inner change–and that in itself does not mean we live without regrets, but rather allow the anguish caused by such experience to change us. It is something we have to go through, again and again, experiencing the fullness of life in its highs and lows and thereby achieving a deeper insight into life. And unfortunately, screwing up terribly is a necessary part of the learning happens (the point is to not do so all the time).
Some things happen in our lives and they make us realize that the way we perceived a thing to be was not at all what we thought it was–in other words, we are flawed, capable of missing the point, of not apprehending the essence of things as they are beyond our own shitty projections, and as a result we have things happen to us that reveal the falseness of our way of being and how it does not reflect the character of someone with a true insight into the essence of things, as they are, and with a character that is noble and honorable. In other words, we expose our own selves, as frauds, as pretenders, as wannabes, as noobs, and so on and so forth. We’re made to realize, often painfully, that our understandings, our knowledge of things, is flawed and that such a flawed knowing may cause us to act in ways that are hubriatic, that cause harm to those who we love and cherish and bring shame to our person.
It is then when we gain an insight into the error of our ways, and if we have this capacity to take this bitter medicine we can move on to evolve a little bit from it. Beyond this, we must remember the greater cause we stand for before we even think of behaving like victims. As such, having exulted in life and lost much of what meant the most to me, I see now how short-sighted I’ve been in many ways and how insignificant it all is compared to the long-term goals inherent in the Sinister Way. And, as I revisit the MSS, I see new meanings in the light of the experiences and learnings I’ve gained over the last couple years. Now I just need to get back to the work of learning the Dark Arts in a real way, and before me I have the perfect opportunity to begin anew.
I have a plan laid out for the next span of causal time–how long it will take, I have no clue, but it will be at least a year, perhaps two. During this period I will work on accomplishing the beginning tasks of the Sevenfold Way. You read right, I’m starting all over, right down to Initiation. I feel like these past few years I’ve been doing it all wrong, being an O9A fake, so I’m going to start over. And I will begin with undertaking two predetermined insight roles back-to-back, with lifestyles diametrically opposite to each other. The nature of these insight roles, I will not disclose, just for obvious reasons. This is what Chloe (who happens to be a great inspiration to the author) would call the Ordeal of Extreme Unctions, I think. During this period I’ll also work on accomplishing two certain tasks relevant to the Septenary, so that all throughout I’m developing some of the rudiments of hebdomadry.
For the latter part of the insight role, which will be enacted in a specific rural location in the Southeast US, there is a hill that just so happens to be perfect for the performance of the Grade Ritual of External Adeptd. Living on the land as I do for the duration of of the insight role, I will perform workings there to empower this sort of proto-nexion–however given its location it will most likely be unsuitable as a permanent nexion (the temple should procure its own Lebensraum for this) or even as a consecrated space for the temple to gather. I have already visited this location several times and it will be effective as a temporary measure for my own use, certainly a good place to reside for a span of many months or years, but it will not help us with the goal of setting up an esoteric community.
Consider most of the stuff I wrote before this as obsolete, the reflection of someone who only had an intuitive apprehension of the dconcepts being described. Some of them are of some esoteric import, the others, just self-satisfied drivel, so exercise discernment when studying them. I will keep them here just for posterity’s sake Anything I write after this, consider it the reflections and musings of an initiate into the Sevenfold Way.
I will continue updating this blog and hope to write here more often.